Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Friday, January 06, 2006
“Hello, did we have words?” he asked.
“No, were you standing there? I didn’t see you.” This was truth. If only it could have stayed that way and been reciprocated. I sighed and began the obligatory greetings and pleasantries people exchange at the start of the New Year. That’s when he began THE TALK. THE TALK is the reason I wish he would cross over to the other side of the street when he sees me and the reason I strain my eyes hoping a taxi would appear on the horizon.
No such luck.
THE TALK began in response to my wish for good things for him in 2006. To which he responded that he also wished for good things for US.
US? I thought and tossed out a flippant reply, hoping to deflect the obvious direction of the conversation. Again, no such luck and still no taxi.
“I think I have deep feelings for you. Yeah, I’ve been thinking about you and I can’t seem to get you out of my mind. And when I can’t stop thinking about a woman it usually means something. Maybe God … yuh know .. who knows?”
You may be thinking awwww and that I am being such a (insert word for female dog here) but you have to meet him in person to understand the full extent of his annoyingness. You would have had to tell him many, many times that you are not in the least bit interested in him that way. You would have had to endure these types of conversations in maxis and taxis with other people listening in. In my defense I’ve never been unkind. I’ve shared the good news of God’s love and invited him to church. We’d get along just fine if he would just accept that there is no US and there never will be an US.
Okay, movin on. Did he just imply that God has a hand in my being on his mind? Puhlease. Of course on his next breath he asks, “Um, what’s your name again?”
I could not help it, I laughed heartily and asked. “Hold on, you have deep feelings for me and you can’t even remember my name?”
His excuse: “It’s a very unusual name.”
Seriously, I gotta get that car. If only I knew how to drive.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Okay I had started writing my post for Tuesday and my internet explorer crashed before I had time submit my entry. Of course this would happen the one time I had not previously typed and saved my entry prior to going online to post it. But no biggie. It was probably divine intervention since I’d had a crappy (pardon my English) day. Highlights: bad hair-day, no makeup, late for work, funeral and splitting headache. To put it mildly I was feeling a little blue. So I went to bed early and got up feeling much better.
Today was much better than yesterday. Hair-not so bad, makeup-yes, early-er than yesterday for work.
I started this year feelin out of sorts with myself, my Father and most people around me (especially at work). All the textbooks teach you not to bring your personal life to work with you and I agree this should be so. However, my faith is such a large part of me that if something’s not right then it affects every area of my life. I become short-tempered and frustrated and things I would normally be able to handle I blow a fuse over. In short I’m miserable. It’s funny how things could be bothering you and affecting your life without your really acknowledging it. That’s what was happening to me and I didn’t even recognise it. I was harboring unforgiveness for some ‘friends’ and it was making me unhappy. But I got a breakthrough today (read more about it here) so that my smile doesn’t feel forced and fake anymore. (Thank God for small mercies.) That really was not my style. I might have wished for a fabulous hair day but this was so much better. Praise the Lord!
Monday, January 02, 2006
It’s a new year. I did say I would not make any new resolutions this year seeing as I’ve so little to show (in my own estimation) for the year past. I still don’t know how to drive, have yet to read the entire Bible and have gotten caught up in mistakes I swore never to make again. Resolutions? Not for me.
However, I have reconsidered. I think it would help to have something to work towards and if I fail… well at least I tried and did not just wander aimlessly along to end up nowhere. So here goes:
1. I can’t get close enough to God so hopefully the close of this year will find me in a closer relationship with my Father
2. read the bible (I am beginning a ‘bible in a year’ program but I am not holding myself to the finishing of it – I will be satisfied with just spending more quality time in the Word)
overcome sins that so easily beset (impossible by myself but with God all things are possible)
3. learn to drive (important - I hate public transport and need a car)
4. Ministry – I haven’t been involved in much work in church because of my schooling but that’s over now and I want to get more involved in the work of ministry.
5. Writing - been torturing myself with ifs, buts and maybes for months now. This year I will put pen to paper and seriously try – what the worse that could happen?
6. Business – have been exploring a business idea for the past 2 months or so. It may not be possible right now but it can’t hurt to have all my facts and figures in place.