It’s Raining Pounds

No, not the sterling kind but the kind that wraps around your middle like runaway tires and hangs on your butt like gravity. All those years of eating whatever I wanted is now taking its toll. Those fat molecules that I thought were eliminated by my superior metabolism had simply bided their time all these years waiting for a weak moment to strike. Increasingly obvious is the fact that that time is here since I seem to be retaining pounds like water.

Of course my dear sister would choose this time to announce her impending marriage (yeah, yeah, yeah, hurrah, hurrah and all that) and my role as Maid of Honor. To which I take offense (not to the role but the title). I don’t need to be reminded that I am staring thirty in the eye and still single. I hear the ticking thank you very much. “Maid”, indeed.

Anyway, I’m gonna get on a strict regimen of healthy eating and exercise (yes, a diet) that will whip me into supermodel shape (Lord, I know You can work miracles) by August 06, the date of my sister’s impending nuptials. It sounds so simple doesn’t it except that I’ve never been much into sports and the only time I deny myself food is to fast (only for Jesus people). So, the coming weeks should be … umm…interesting.