Thursday, September 28, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #3



Thirteen Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE...

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."


2. My mother taught me RELIGION...

" You better pray that will come out of the carpet."


3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL...

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."


4. My mother taught me LOGIC...

"Because I said so, that's why."


5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC...

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."


6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT...

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."


7. My mother taught me IRONY...

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."


8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS...

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."


9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM...

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"


10. My mother taught me about STAMINA...

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."


11. My mother taught me about WEATHER...

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."


12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY...

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"


13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE...

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


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5 comments:

Happy Mama to Three said...

Are you sure you didn't grow up with my family? Cause every one of those has spouted from my Mama's mouth at least a million times.

Cindi
My TT is up and running

amy said...

your mom rocks

Jennifer said...

Really funny list, mine is not so creative or funny...but it is up.

was your mom the mom on Malcolm in the middle??

Jenny in Ca

MommyBa said...

I think we grew up in the same family! LOL!

Your list was fun to read! Thanks for sharing your lessons in life with us!

Happy weekend!

Jenny Ryan said...

These are wonderful! Thanks so much for the laughs :)